


Until You're In My Arms

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e15 Eddie Begins, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hugs, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Season/Series 03, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23765743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Buck worries for Eddie's safety and promises himself two things: he's going to get Eddie back, and when he does he's going to tell him how he feels.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 481





	Until You're In My Arms

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this despite being exhausted and in pain because I am feeling so many things after that episode, and I just had to write something. If there are typos blame my tired brain and my phone.

Fear. Overwhelming fear and desperation. Buck is sure he’s only felt this kind of fear once before in his life. When he lost Christopher during the tsunami.

Now here he is again, that same fear gripping at his chest as he screams and digs at the ground with his hands. He’ll dig all the way through and throw himself down into that damn hole if he has to. Whatever it takes to save Eddie.

He can’t lose him. Not like this. Not when they both still have so much of their lives ahead of him. Not when Eddie doesn’t know.

Doesn’t know how important he is. How loved he is. He needs to know. 

Buck makes a promise to himself that when they get him out he'll tell him. _When_ not _if_. Because he's going to get Eddie back.

"Eddie! Eddie!" 

"Buck," Cap says. He places a hand on his shoulder and starts to pull him back, but Buck shrugs him off. 

"No! I have to get to him! I have to save him!"

"We will," Bobby says. "Buck we will, but not like this."

Cap pulls him back and Buck breaks, collapsing against him as he cries. 

This isn't happening. This can't be real. 

"I can't lose him Cap," Buck whispers brokenly. "I can't. I… God I love him."

"I know," Bobby says. "We're going to do everything we can to get him out of there. I promise you."

Buck nods, his gaze still focused on the ground in front of him. If Cap wasn't still holding him so tightly he'd be right there digging at it again. 

Anything it takes to get him back, he'll do it. 

Buck stands there silent as Bobby starts going over the search plan. It's a rescue, he keeps telling himself. They're going to find him. 

He walks towards the lake, something pulling him towards it. A feeling in his gut that he needs to be there. At first all he sees is blackness in front of them. Then there's color rising up from the depths. There's only one thing it could be. 

"Eddie!" Buck calls, not even thinking as he runs into the water towards him. "Eddie!"

Eddie turns to face him, and their eyes meet. "Buck," Eddie rasps. "Buck."

"Over here!" Buck calls. "I found him."

There's a commotion behind them but Buck can't take his eyes off Eddie, alive and whole in front of him.

“Eddie,” Buck breathes, stumbling towards him. He catches Eddie as he starts to fall and with the help of Bobby walks him towards the ambulance. He wants nothing more than to wrap Eddie up in his arms here and now, but he holds back. The first priority is making sure he’s really alright.

“How is he?” Buck asks for what feels like the tenth time. He can’t help it if he’s worried. 

Hen glances up at him, “Same as he was the last time you asked not even two minutes ago.”

Buck sighs and leans back against the ambulance next to Eddie. “I’m just worried.”

“And I’m okay,” Eddie tells him. He surprises Buck when he reaches out and takes his hand. It’s still freezing despite the blanket Hen had wrapped him up in. Buck squeezes, wishing he could transfer some of his body heat to him through the contact. Eddie smiles tiredly. “Because of you.”

Buck’s brow furrows, “I wasn’t there.”

“You were though,” Eddie says. Had he hit his head? Or maybe been without oxygen too long? Eddie laughs quietly as if sensing bucks thoughts. “I’m not crazy, Buck. Promise.”

“You're ready to go,” Hen says, and Buck startles. For a moment he’d forgotten she was here.

"Good," Eddie says. He stands up but doesn't drop Buck's hand. "I need to get home to Christopher."

"I'll…" Buck rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. "Well I was hoping I could…"

"You're coming with me," Eddie says. "I don't think either of us should be alone right now."

"Good because I'm not about to let you out of my sight," Buck tells him. 

"Not even to sleep?"

Buck shakes his head, "Nope. I'll sleep at the foot of your bed like a dog."

Eddie chuckles and squeezes his hand, "I wouldn't make you sleep at the bottom of the bed." For a moment, Buck thinks this might be it, but then Eddie smirks. "You could sleep on the floor."

Buck rolls his eyes, "Nice to see you haven't lost your sense of humor."

"Of course not. You'd get bored if I did."

* * *

They're walking into Eddie's house an hour later. Carla greets them at the door and pulls them both in for tight hugs. 

"I'm glad you're okay."

"How's Christopher?" Eddie asks, his gaze moving down the hall towards his son's room. 

"Sleeping," Carla tells him. "He doesn't know what happened. I made sure of that. I didn't want to worry about him."

"Thank you," Eddie says. "For staying over. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Buck walks down the hall towards Christopher's room, leaving Eddie and Carla to talk. He peeks his head into the room and smiles. Christopher is sound asleep in his bed, a stuffed bear Buck won for him in his arms. 

"He sleeps with that thing almost every night," Eddie whispers. When Buck opens his mouth, he shakes his head and raises a finger to his lips. He nods his head down the hall towards his room and starts that way, leaving Buck to follow. 

Eddie's rifling through his dresser when Buck enters the room. "I know I have those sweats you like to wear somewhere."

"Eddie…"

"I just washed them so they have to be here…"

"Eddie!" Buck calls, louder, needing to get Eddie's attention. 

Something about Eddie standing in his room doing something so normal as looking for clothes brings back the reminder of what Buck almost lost. Not that he needed it. The thought has been there, lingering in his mind, even throughout all their teasing and easy conversation. 

He almost lost Eddie, and he needs him to know what that did to him. 

He strides across the room in three big steps and takes the sweats Eddie's holding and throws them aside. 

"Buck?"

Buck doesn't respond, at least not verbally. Instead he wraps his arms around Eddie and pulls him in for a hug like he's been aching to do for hours. 

It's barely a few seconds before Eddie's arms are coming up around him and pulling him in even closer. They cling to each other tightly, swaying from the force of it. 

Buck tucks his face against Eddie's neck, not having it in him to be embarrassed when he starts to cry. Eddie shakes in his arms and Buck holds him tighter. 

"You're okay," he whispers. "You're safe. I've got you."

Buck's not sure how long they stand like that. Eventually their grip loosens but neither make a move to pull away. At least not completely. 

"I was so worried," Buck murmurs. "When the lightning struck and the tower collapsed I lost it." He looks down at his hands and grimaces. Even after washing them there's still mud caked under his nails. A reminder of what he almost lost tonight. "I would have dug through the mud and earth to get to you if Bobby hadn't stopped me."

"I heard you," Eddie says. "Calling my name. That's what I meant when I said you were with me. I had these flashes of my life, and the most prominent pieces were Christopher, and you. You both gave me that push I needed to fight to get out. And your voice showed me the way. Does that sound as cheesy as I think it does?"

Buck laughs wetly and wipes at his eyes, "Yeah, but I don't mind one bit. I'll always be here for you, Eddie."

"I know," Eddie says. He cups Buck's cheek and leans in, resting his head against his. "Thank you for being in my world, Evan."

"I'm the one that should be thanking you." Buck swallows thickly, more tears spilling past his eyes. He makes no move to wipe them away. "You know, I promised myself I would tell you something when you got out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to tell me or leave me hanging in suspense?"

"For someone who almost died tonight you sure are being a smart ass."

"I wasn't aware surviving meant I had to give that up."

"Eddie," Buck sighs, more fond than anything. 

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Saying the words isn't as scary as he thought it would be. Especially not with the way Eddie's face softens as he smiles. 

"I love you, Evan."

Buck's heart leaps when the last remaining distance between closes and their lips meet in a soft, lingering kiss. 

They stumble again and Buck smiles, "I think the exhaustion is catching up to us."

"I think you might be right," Eddie sighs. He pulls back and Buck immediately misses the contact. "Here." Eddie holds our the sweats Buck had thrown aside earlier, along with a t-shirt. "Get changed."

Buck nods. He's not exactly liking the idea of sleeping on the couch tonight. He hates how tempting the floor sounds. But if it lets him be closer to Eddie…

His phone lights up just as he's slipping the shirt over his head. It's a text from Eddie. 

"Come back when you're done."

Buck locks his phone and walks back down the hall towards Eddie's room. Eddie's already in bed when he walks in. 

"You could have at least left me a blanket on the floor," Buck tells him.

"Now why would I do that when you can just share the covers with me?" Eddie asks him. When Buck hesitates by the door trying to make out just how serious he's being, Eddie rolls his eyes. "Well? Are you coming to bed or not?"

"Oh I'm definitely coming to bed," Buck says. Now that he knows Eddie's serious nothing is going to stop him from getting in that big, comfortable looking bed with him. "I've been dreaming about this bed." He sighs as his back hits the mattress and snuggles deeper under the blankets. 

"Yeah? Just the bed?" Eddie asks, leaning over him. 

Buck smiles, "And maybe the man who sleeps here."

"Hmm," Eddie says, leaning down until their lips are almost touching. "He dreams about you too."

Eddie kisses him quickly and pulls back with a grin. "Though right now he's also dreaming of sleep, and maybe those arms if yours."

"And what are my arms doing?" Buck asks. His arms raise to wrap around Eddie's back and pull him in. "This?"

"Mmm yeah that's perfect," Eddie exhales against his neck as he relaxes in his arms. "Love you."

Buck smiles and kisses the top of Eddie's head. "I love you, too."

It's not long before they're both drifting off, feeling safe and loved in each other's arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments make my day 💜  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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